V/H/S 2 (2013)
This movie opens with pretty much the same scenario as the previous one: people huddled around a bank of static filled televisions with a stack of video tapes just waiting to be watched. This time around it is a pair of private investigators at the home of a missing college student. They check out his video blog and see that he was watching these tapes before he disappeared, so let’s make some popcorn and watch 3 or 4 of these together shall we
PHASE I CLINICAL TRIALS – These held-held camera point of view movies try to find something to use instead of just a shaky camera, in this case it is an artificial eye that gives the wearer the ability to see again, but also conveniently records the images. Not long after getting the implant, a man goes all Sixth Sense and starts seeing all these dead people in his house. They don’t do anything, just sort of stand and stare. The next morning a girl he recognized from the doctor’s office shows up and tells him the same thing is happening to her with her cochlear implant: hearing these dead folks talk all the time. She tells him to ignore them and they can’t her them, but how do you ignore a house full of corpses?
A RIDE IN THE PARK – A guy is going for a quick mountain bike ride through the woods, straps his Go Pro on his helmet and he’s off! Dude is tearing up the trails… big time, until he comes upon a chick looking pretty beat up and asking for help. There isn’t much the guy can do for her and she dies right away, but since this is a horror flick and she is covered in bites, you know she going to come back as a zombie; and gives him a little love bite. We are then shown a first-person perspective of a living person’s change into a zombie, and it isn’t pretty. Now we have the first ZOMBIE CAM as he hunts along with other zombies; and all hell breaks loose as they encounter a little girl’s birthday party at a nearby park.
SAFE HAVEN – A documentary crew meets up with a controversial cult leader, and they ask for his permission to come to his compound so he can set the record straight about all the crazy stuff the public thinks is going on out there, but mostly they just want to see what this kook is up to. He reluctantly agrees, and it turns out the public might have legitimate concerns, as this leader wants to purify all he followers by putting his greasy wang in them. They picked a good day to come over, as it turns out today in the rapture! As the crew is filming, the Jonestown flavored Kool-Aid is passed out and consumed by the women and children, and all of the men put a bullet in their own heads. So it turns out this nut job was right since a huge demonic goat shows up and starts killing everyone!
SLUMBER PARTY ALIEN ABDUCTION – We see mom and dad pulling away for a weekend away from the kids, and seconds later the kid’s friends start to show up for a party weekend. Things are going well, with plenty of fun being had and pranks being pulled. The big sister puts a mini camera on the family terrier to catch her bother touching himself in his special place, and everyone had a good laugh. It’s then that they hear a loud noise followed by bright lights around the house. The lights go out, and all of a sudden the house is full of aliens!? That’s right kids, it’s abduction time! The kids and their little dog spend the next ten minutes running around with nothing but a strobe light to see by. If you don’t end up having a seizure, you get to see the aliens catch these kids, where we’re sure they will have something stuck up their butts within the hour.
Alex’s Thoughts: I really liked the first V/H/S. It was low budget, but full of imaginative stories by small time indy directors. I was excited to see a larger budget sequel with big time horror movie directors was in the works. I think I hyped myself up too much, because I was sort of disappointed. This isn’t to say that V/H/S 2 isn’t good, and doesn’t have some great moments because it does. I guess I was just expecting for bang for buck. The highlights for me were A Ride on the Park, with the exception of the ending, and Safe haven, which was gust so good due to it’s shear strangeness. The other two I didn’t like quite as much. For one, watching an alien abduction happen from a dog’s POV with no lighting except for a strobe is enough to make almost anyone queasy, but there isn’ enough of a payoff for all of that nausea. The robot eye story wasn’t bad, but I didn’t connect with the actors, as their sense of dread just didn’t come through for me. I would say that if you like the first one and horror movie anthologies, you will enjoy this. Alex Rates This Movie 8/10
Tim’s Thoughts: Unlike Alex I was not disappointed with VHS 2 at all. It suffers from only one weak story (Slumber Party) and the wraparound story is much better this time. I really found the first story creepy, and the zombie bike ride was a lot of fun. Like a lot of horror movies the Safe Haven story went on about 1 minute too long, and could have ended stronger, instead it just gets silly. Not having much hope for this I came in skeptical, and left impressed. Unlike last time, I am looking forward to what they come up with next. Plus some of the anthology horror movies are the best, i.e. Creepshow. Tim Rates This Movie 8/10