Category: Author’s Favorite


Again With That Book?

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March 20, 2013

The Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (1987)

Evil Dead 2 poster

Ash and his girlfriend Linda find a remote cabin in which to spend the weekend/ get their freak on.  It looks to have been recently deserted and upon further inspection Ash finds a tape recorder and a freaky looking book.  After playing the tape, we learn that this Book of the Dead has the power to unleash demons if the passages are read aloud, cue tape player and… boom, Linda is snatched from the cabin by an unseen force but returns as a possessed monster trying to eat Ash’s face off.  He cuts her head clean off, but we are only like 10 minutes into this movie, so things are gonna get worse right? Right. Here is what happens to the poor chap:

  • Linda’s reanimated corpse attacks, and her severed head takes a bite out of his hand.
  • Ash’s hand (now possessed) attempts to kill him any way it can. Not wanting to be murdered by a part of his own body, Ash takes a chainsaw and lops that bitch off!
  • The severed hand runs amuck through the house still trying to kill him and flipping him off whenever it gets the chance.
  • The evil forces do their best to drive Ash crazy by animating everything inside the cabin and Ash slowly loses his shit.
  • The cabin’s owner’s daughter shows up with a friend and their guides: Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel and his hilljack girlfriend, who is shot by Ash trying to enter the cabin.
  • Cletus knocks him out and throws him in the cellar as the new arrivals listen to the rest of the tape explaining how the owner’s wife was possessed and buried in said cellar.
  • Ash barely escapes from the beast down there, and soon most of the rest of the group become possessed.
  • He and the owner’s daughter fight for their lives as Ash equips himself with a new chainsaw hand and a shotgun (groovy), as the daughter tries to open a portal to suck up the monsters.
  • Portal is now open, but the severed hand kills her as Ash gets sucked into a dimensional rift.
  • He is shat out in 14th century England which is full of monsters and he is believed to be the savior of the people there… to be continued in the sequel: Army of Darkness.

Alex’s Thoughts: Take the original Evil Dead and mix in a few choice episodes of The Three Stooges, and this movie is what you get.  It is just the right amount of horror and comedy, and might be one of the best movies out there, in my opinion. Sure the horror special effects are a little cheesy, but I think that is sort of the point.  Where The Evil Dead was a low-budget horror, Evil Dead II takes everything good about that movie, adds a deeper story, better cast and makes the lead not such a wimp this time around. I love this thing and will never get tired of watching it. Alex Rates This Movie 10/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This doesn’t have the scares, or the shock of Evil Dead 1, but it sure as hell is a lot of fun. This is one of the few movies that pulls off the perfect mix of horror and comedy. Nobody does it like the King, and Campbell will always be the King. Anyone who watches this needs to realize a few things, first of all, don’t take it seriously, and second, this is some choice movie making. Rami is innovative, and I can’t wait to see more horror/comedy from him, so when he get’s back from Oz I hope he dives back into his bread and butter. Hail to the King baby. Tim Rates This Movie 10/10

ash evil dead 2

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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Don’t Read That Book!

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March 8, 2013

The Evil Dead (1981)

evil dead poster

Listen, we all know by now that if a group of people go into the woods to stay at a secluded cabin, things aren’t going to end well for them, right? Such is the case with Ashley and his group of friends as they believe they will fair better.  Things are going fine until they find a creepy book made out of skin in the cellar, along with a tape player.  They bring the thing up for a listen and learn that the book can summon demons if the pages are read aloud. The dumb kids keep listening, and sure enough the voice on the tape starts chanting, and now bad stuff is awakening in the woods.

Ashley’s sister goes outside to check on a noise as most dumb girls do in these types of movies, and soon the trees grab hold, and let’s just use the phrase ‘sexually assaults’ her. It would sound silly of we said that she was RAPED BY A TREE! But that is what happens before she goes running back to the cabin.  She has become possessed by the demons unleashed by the book and now, one by one, they each fall, with only Ashley remaining.  As morning comes the worst seems to be over, but sadly that isn’t the case.

Alex’s Thoughts: It is going to sound like I am bashing this, but I do like this movie a lot, but… Evil Dead 2 is SO much better.  Sam Raimi was clearly on to something with his unique shots and brand of story telling, but he wasn’t quite there yet with this one as far as being a great director.  It’s fine,though it could have been better, but luckily for us it does with the sequel which is almost the exact same story as this, except with a bigger budget and some more experience under the director’s belt.  If I had never seen part 2, I would tell people that this is a great horror flick, but it just doesn’t compare to the sequel.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10.

Tim’s Thoughts:There are films that come along and raise the bar, and The Evil Dead is definitely one of those. Made with a shoestring budget, it pushed all boundaries and decimated what was considered normal for horror. While Craven was trying to scare you, and movies like I Spit On Your Grave were made to shock,  The Evil Dead does both, gleefully. Evil Dead 2 doesn’t compare for me, the silliness makes it a completely different kind of movie. Don’t get me wrong I really like it, but there are parts of this movie that still freak me out. It’s a combination of crazy camera angles, and the intensity of the  actors playing  possessed demons to the hilt. One of the best, most important horror films made in my lifetime. This is and always will be a must see, and a recommend. Tim Rates This Movie 10/10

evil dead witch

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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It’s The Muppet Show…er… Movie!

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February 15, 2013

The Muppet Movie (1979)

the muppet movie poster

As Kermit sits in his swamp singing away, an agent rows up and tells him he should go into show business.  With nothing better to do, he heads west toward Hollywood. Along the way he meets up with the usual suspects: The Bear, The Pig, The Dog, The Whatever and the members of The Electric Mayhem, among others. It’s just basically how they all met interspersed with cameos from today’s (read 1979) biggest stars, all the while the owner of a chain of frog’s legs restaurants is hunting Kermit.

Alex’s Thoughts: The plot of this movie, like the Muppets themselves, is very basic but oh so rewarding.  Like Tim, I grew up loving the Muppet Show and watching it whenever I could, which was followed by begging to go see the additional movies every couple of years.  While probably not the best Muppet movie, it is a great example of the brilliance of Jim Henson and Frank Oz and what they could accomplish. Even as an adult I am baffled by some of the basic effects of this movies and how they are able to achieve so much with puppets, and how you forget that that is what they actually are after a while.  Here’s hoping that the current Muppets resurgence continues to thrive, so new generations can love them as much as we did.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts:This is my favorite of all the Muppet movies, but I will watch any of them at any time. This may seem a bit dated, (especially if you don’t recognize the people in the cameos) but the music and comedy should easily carry you through. I fully admit I am biased, but there are few movies that bring me more joy than this. The part most amazing to me is how they pull this off, the Muppets move around so naturally, and the effects still look good. Especially the Animal one at the end. If you haven’t seen this, get off your duff and get your family together for a great time. Tim Rates This Movie 10/10(This is one of my all time favorite movies.)

The Muppet Movie

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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Redeeming Qualities

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February 12, 2013

The Raid: Redemption (2011)

The-Raid-Redemption-Movie-Poster

A specialized SWAT team is preparing to take down a crime boss who is holed-up at the top of an apartment building.  They gain entry to the building and go room by room and floor by floor securing the building and trying up anyone they find along the way.  They don’t get much resistance until they get to the sixth floor, that is when the lights go out and a voice is heard throughout the building’s PA system. That voice belongs to the crime boss, and he offers a reward to anyone who can kill some of these cops.  The commanding officer asks his lieutenant to send backup, but he refuses since this operation is off the books and classified.  They are on their own.

It isn’t long before the SWAT team is decimated and only a few survivors remain.  It will be up to our hero Rama to take on hundreds of thugs and work his way to the top floor to complete his mission.  He ditches his guns in favor of a knife in order to do a little wet work, but he isn’t above using his feet and fists when needed.  All sorts of ass is kicked on his way up, and he takes a beating himself, but soon the tables will turn and a dastardly plot is revealed, but he receives some help from an unlikely source.

Alex’s Thoughts: I went into this not knowing anything, just that Netflix recommend that I watch it, which isn’t always a good sign based on all of the crap I see.  A couple other sites said it was good, so I decided to try it out, and was not disappointed.  It is a good old fashioned action movie like I grew up with in the 80′s: lots of fighting, lots of shooting and special effects kept down to a minimum.  There are a few fight scenes that are over the top, and I found myself laughing out loud, but it adds to the fun of it all.  The only issue that I have is, while the fights are really well choreographed, they are a little too obviously choreographed.  I know that’s just because they are so complex, but it doesn’t look very natural.  other than that, I loved it. It was a good story, with decent acting and much ass was kicked.  Guys who like action movies will love it.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This is easily one of the best action movies I have seen in recent memory. All of the fight scenes are so much fun and the director is bold, there are very few quick cuts, and most of the action takes place during long takes. There are very few obvious special effects and I  can’t remember a point where it looked like wire work was used. I kept laughing out loud at how crazy the fights got, and I was genuinely excited consistently throughout this entire movie. After sitting through some clunkers, it is refreshing to see something this much fun. I have been recommending to people I talk to, and I will continue to do so. Probably the most fulfilling  action movie in the last 10 years.  Tim Rates This Movie 10/10

TheRaid-1

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue.

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2012 – The Year That Was

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January 1, 2013

Well, it’s another year in the books here on Men on Film.  It has been a good year for movies, as well as our humble blog.  We would like to thank all of our readers, and wish them the very best in 2013.  Here our some of the best (and worst) movies that we reviewed this past year.  Chime in and let us know if you agree or if you think we are full of crap as per usual.  We will be announcing a few changes for next year, but until that point, please enjoy.

Alex’s Favorite Movie Reviewed in 2012: By leaps and bounds it’s Cabin in the Woods, and that is going up against The Dark Knight Rises.  What you think is just going to be a typical ‘kids get murdered by psycho in a remote cabin’ movie is anything but!  Please see this.  Do it for Joss Whedon and baby Jesus.

Tim’s Favorite Movie Reviewed in 2012: Not to be redundant, but The Cabin in the Woods, it not only was my favorite that we reviewed, but it also may have been one of my favorites for the year, and that’s in a year with some really great movies.

Alex’s Favorite Comedy Reviewed in 2012: I would probably have to go with the Sean Williams Scott hockey flick Goon.  While not always laugh-out-loud funny, it is always smart funny, with just enough crude jokes to keep you smiling.

Tim’s Favorite Comedy Reviewed in 2012: There are some good ones to choose from, Bernie was excellent, and I enjoyed most of the Documentaries that we watched, but maybe the funniest movie for me was Gentlemen Broncos, not a popular choice, but I will stick with it.

Alex’s Favorite Horror Reviewed in 2012: I really can’t pick just one. We review more horror movies than all other genres combined, so there was a lot to chose from.  I think it is a tie between the French horror movie Inside, about a preggo lady fighting off an insane woman who wants her baby; and Hard Candy, which has Ellen Page going up against a suspected pedophile and getting the best of him.

Tim’s Favorite Horror Reviewed in 2012: Since I don’t want all of these answers to be The Cabin in the Woods, I am going to say Inside, I feel totally justified because I had been harping on Alex to watch it for a while, and he felt the same way. If you can’t handle that then Drag Me to Hell is an excellent time.

Alex’s Favorite ’Other’ Reviewed in 2012:  Again I think I have another tie.  I really enjoyed the documentary The Rock-a-fire Explosion about the animatronic show from Show Biz Pizza simple for the nostalgia aspect of it.  I also really liked Tom Hardy in Bronson, and that was simply based on his acting in an otherwise so-so movie.

Tim’s Favorite ’Other’ Reviewed in 2012: Prometheus, again, not a popular choice, but I was excited to do it for the blog and got exactly what I wanted from it. Rock-a-fire is a close second. I loved that movie.

Alex’s Most Hated Movie Reviewed in 2012: No tie here: Human Centipede 2: Full Sequence was the worst (despite it being my most well-written review of the year).  Everything about it was bad, but most of all it was a bad idea.  Nothing scary about it, and it was gross just for the sake of being gross, made by a director who is way to proud of himself for making a shitty movie to begin with.

Tim’s Most Hated Movie Reviewed in 2012: Pick one of the zombie movies we reviewed this year, I think I hated all of them, but what may be the worst of all was Jennifer’s Body. It did nothing for my opinion of Diablo Cody, and Megan Fox stinks.

We would love to hear your thoughts about 2012′s movies!

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Stupid Gypsy Curses

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October 15, 2012

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Christine is trying to get a promotion at her job at the bank, and her boss is looking for her to be just a little more aggressive. She therefore decides not to extend the loan of an old lady who is about to lose her house.  The old lady begs and makes a scene and embarrasses herself and decides that it’s Christine’s fault for shaming her in front of everyone at the bank as she is forcefully removed.  But the crazy old lady isn’t done yet, she hides in the back of Christine’s car and they go at it when she gets out of work. Christine is getting the better of the old hag, but the will of a gypsy is a little too much to overcome.  Right when Christine is sure she will be murdered, the old hag steals a button off her shirt and says some mumbo jumbo and disappears.  After being freaked out, she goes to a physic, who is convinced Christine is now cursed.

Christine feels like the physic might have been right, since a shadow kicks her ass at home that night, and the next morning she is spraying blood out of her mouth like Old Faithful.  She had no choice but to go to the gypsy’s house and beg for forgiveness. It turns out that it is a little late for that, as the rest of the gypsies in Pasadena (and for some reason there are a ton of them) are holding a wake for the old bird.  She returns to the physic who tells her what sort of spirit she is up against and after sacrificing her cat, thinks all will we well. It’s not!  She only has a day left before the spirit comes for her soul, so after a failed exercism attempt that results in the death of a medium and a talking goat; she only has one option left.  She has to give the object that the gypsy cursed, in this case a button, to someone else.  That person will then be killed and their soul tormented in hell forever.  Will Christine give some waitress the worst tip ever, or put it in some bum’s change cup? We don’t want to spoil it for you.   

Alex’s Thoughts: What more could you ask for from a modern-day horror flick?  This has just about everything you could want: jump scares, decent practical effects (the CG ones are sort of weak) and a great story.  It is very much a Sam Raimi flick, and gets more so closer to the end with some scenes very reminiscent of the Evil Dead series. So if that isn’t your scene, you might not enjoy this as much as some others.  I liked those parts fine, but I thought that those parts would have been better off as scary rather than throwing in a laugh here and there. It just sort of messed up the tempo for me.  Still a great watch every time, though and a must watch for horror fans.  Also Justin Long is just an awful actor… that needs to be pointed out. Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Oh man oh man, this is right in my wheelhouse. Sam Raimi back doing what made him great, I loved this when I saw it in the theater, and I love it now. Gross out horror fun at it’s best, I had so much fun every minute of this movie, all the way down to the end. The effects work, the sound is horrifying, and the way that the movie pulls no punches, makes this one of the better horror movies to come out lately. It’s no Cabin In The Woods, but it’s damn good. Tim Rates This Movie: 10/10

“I don’t want your cat, you dirty pork queen!”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your Netflix queue

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Our Top 10 Favorite Goofy Horror Movies

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October 4, 2012

Some people really like horror movies, while many other’s don’t enjoy being scared to death.  We’ve made a list of some movies that might appeal to the casual horror fan or those often put off by the scare factor.  You would probably find these flicks in the horror movie section, but they are far from scary, and are mostly just a fun watch. While the gore factor is there in most of these, the humor offsets any notion of being frightened.

10: Frankenhooker (1990) – When a guy’s girlfriend is accidentally killed in a freak mower accident, he decides to make a new girlfriend: out of dead hooker parts.  If that doesn’t make you want to see it, then how about that fact that he also goes all ‘Heisenburg’ and makes a form of super-crack that causes people to explode?

9: Tucker & Dale vs Evil (2010) – The tables are turned when two kindly rednecks are terrorized by a group of college students in the woods who mistake them for psycho rednecks. Also Alan Tudyck, so… there.

8: The Return of the Living Dead (1985) – Two bumbling warehouse workers release a toxic gas that brings the dead back to life, in this humorous zombie flick.  Before this, people didn’t know how much zombies enjoyed brains, or what a zombie trapped in a barrel of tar would look like once released.

7: Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf  (1985) – A guy tracks down the werewolves that killed his sister to Europe, where he aims to get revenge on the group with the help of Christopher Lee. Please don’t think that just be cause this is on our list that it is a ‘good’ movie. It’s not. In fact, it is one of the worst movies we have ever seen, but it falls into that ‘it’s so bad it’s good’ group of flicks like Troll 2; but swap out ‘good’ with ‘fun’ in this case.

6: Fright Night (1985) – What do you do when a vampire moves next door? Nothing, because there is no such thing, right? Wrong. A teen must fight against the forces of darkness to save those he loves from a literal neighbor from hell.

5: Re-Animator (1985) – Bringing back cats from the dead is one thing, but how about human heads? This movie doesn’t get enough love, and it’s just such a great flick.

4: The Cabin in the Woods (2011) – Most of you haven’t seen this, please rectify that as soon as possible.  A group of college students take a vacation to an old cabin, that is both everything that you would expect AND nothing you could have imagined.  Good thing Joss Whedon imagined it for you.

3: Monster Squad (1987) – When the classic monsters (Dracula, the mummy, wolfman, creature from the black lagoon and Frankenstein) are unleashed on a small town to find an ancient amulet, it is up to a rag-tag group of kids in a monster club to save the world.

2: Dead Alive (aka Braindamage) (1992) – Before Peter Jacking was making movies about Hobbits, he directed a flick about an undead plague sweeping across the lands.  See how much carnage a guy with a lawnmower can do against an army of zombies; with a special appearance by a kung-fu priest.

1: Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987) – The old haunted cabin in the middle of nowhere tale… but the best by far.  After unleashing an army of the dead, our boy Ash fights for his very soul against demons and his own hand. Come get some.

We would like to know what your favorite ‘not-so-scary movies’ are. Drop us a comment and sound off.

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All Rise. The Honorable Christopher Nolan Presiding

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July 23, 2012

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

We attended a trilogy viewing of all three batman movies last night, which were Batman Begins and The Dark Knight followed by a midnight viewing of what might be one of the most anticipated movies of all time. Our plot and reviews are as spoiler free as possible, but there might be one or two, so read at your own risk.

Eight years have passed since the death of district attorney Harvey Dent, and of the Batman taking the blame for all of Dent’s murders from when he was driven insane by the Joker.  Not only has Batman not been seen for almost a decade, but neither has Bruce Wayne; who has become a recluse inside his mansion, consumed by the death of Rachel Dawes, and is in pretty rough shape after the beatings taken as Batman.  It takes a visit from a ‘cat’ burglar to kick him out of his funk, and it soon becomes clear a storm is brewing in Gotham City, and he is going to need to come out of retirement, no matter what the costs.

In addition to the very attractive thief, there is a new baddie in town, the crafty mercenary known as Bane.  He plans to destroy Gotham and will not take no for an answer.  Batman isn’t alone in his fight for the city; police Commissioner Gordon as well as a hot-shot young cop named John Blake aim to stop Bane and his army of goons who have taken complete control over the city, with no one allowed to come or go. Will this brute be the end of the bat? Or will Wayne knock off the rust and kick a little more butt before hanging up the cowl for good?

Alex’s Thoughts:  Let me first say that this is a great movie.  Now that’s out of the way, here were a very few things that bothered me – the dialogue was really hard to hear in some parts, and not just the words coming from under Bane’s mask, but from everyone.  If there was any sort of music playing or action in that scene, it was always louder than the dialogue so a lot was lost.  I did have minor issues with the Bat-plane, as I thought it was sort of cheesy, but I understand that it was crucial to the story.  And again, the music: it was too loud where it didn’t need to be and it distracted from what was happening on-screen, but maybe that was just me listening to the same theme for like 9 straight hours.  Those few flaws aside, it was a very entertaining movie.  I got to see some things between Bane and Batman that I didn’t think would happen, and I really enjoyed all the scenes with Bats and Catwoman fighting together.  The acting from Anne Hathaway and Michael Caine stood out the most, and it is unfortunate that so much of Bane’s face is covered by the mask, because Tom Hardy is a great actor and he can’t really express himself, but still did provide a great performance. Probably the part that most people will disagree on is the ending.  It is going to be a love it or hate it type deal.  It is very specific and sets the stage for the next movie, and if the next director decides to follow that story line, there is only one thing that can happen.  I myself really liked it. (MINOR SPOILER)  You lean something trivial about John Blake that changes the entire movie and history of this franchise, the audience in our theater let out a collective gasp.  I don’t love this as much as The Dark Knight, but it is still a great flick.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10

Tim’s Thoughts: Nolan did the impossible, and that was not out doing The Dark Knight, (that would be impossible,) no, what he managed to do was maintain a consistent story line. Having the benefit of seeing all 3 movies in the same night in the theater, I could  see how Nolan sets up the universe very deliberately, and this pays off big time. There are no cheesy call backs to lame minor characters from earlier films, (which I was dreading,} and they avoid falling back into easy tropes. The movie felt like it had a slow start, but do not be deceived, it only feels that way because you know the shit is going to hit the fan, you just don’t know when. It’s also a good sign when the more I think about this movie, the more I like it. The guy one seat down in the theater was literally on the edge of his seat for the last hour of the movie, and you get the feeling that Nolan  is not only capable, but more than willing to kill off any of the main players and things get worse and worse. I know there is some dispute over the ending, but honestly I don’t know how else you do it. The wrap up is concise, and satisfying, and I don’t know what else you want. For me, this was excellent, and a wonderful finale for the best, most consistent movie trilogy. Before you jump down my throat, remember, there are no Ewoks in this, and Temple of Doom in it’s best parts can’t touch these Batman films. I am sad that they are done, and REALLY hope Superman can find the same success. Tim Rates This Movie: 10/10

“When Gotham is ashes, you have my permission to die.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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One Mean Motorscooter

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July 12, 2012

Bronson (2008)

First off we have to warn you that this isn’t a bio pic about Bronson Pinchot, so sorry to dissappoint all you Perfect Strangers fans out there.  Some day your movie will be made; no way Hollywood could ignore his massive talent for much longer.

This biopic about England’s most famous prisoner is a bit of an odd duck.  The story is told by Michael Peterson (a.k.a. Charlie Bronson), via a vaudeville act in front of a large crowd.  There are brief monologues by Bronson (Tom Hardy) when the acts change or there is a lapse in time; while a bit off-putting at first, it really helps to tie the movie and its span of thirty years together.

When we first meet Bronson, we hear a bit about his childhood. Although he came from a very normal family, he was anything but.  He craved attention, and got that through fighting; whether it be will fellow classmates or with his teachers. As a teenager, things got worse, as he added robbery to his repertoire.  This hobby landed him a seven-year stay in prison, after being apprehended after robbing a post office.  It is in prison, we lean, that Bronson feels at home, going so far to calling his cell his ‘hotel room’.  Through his love of fighting, he quickly makes a name for himself as one guy not to be fucked with, and all of the other prisoners respect and admire him.

Since he is in constant trouble, he is transferred from prison to prison, but it’s the same everywhere he goes: guards and other prisoners beaten within an inch of their life.  With no other options, the government sends him to an asylum where he is kept drugged for years.  He gets out of a stupor long enough to try to kill a guy, so he goes to a prison for the criminally insane, where he soon initiates a full-scale riot.  At their wit’s end, the best idea England has is to just let the guy go free, and they do.  After finding it hard to adjust back into society, he finds a job he’s good at – a street fighter.  He will fight anyone, and as many men and even dogs as he can, in order to get that rush he covets so much.  After another botched robbery he is sent back into the clink, but finds an outlet in art, after not finding anyone who wants to fight him.

He resorts to taking his art teacher hostage in order to be able to take a couple of shots at the guards, which is all he ever wanted out of life.  We learn that he is still in prison to this day, and is still kicking ass well into his 50’s.

Alex’s Thoughts:  I was a little put off at first due to the odd presentation of this movie and the thick accent Tom Hardy uses throughout the film, but I eventually adjusted to it.  I’m glad I kept watching because I saw one of the best performances of my life. Hardy is so great in this picture, and his ability to go from zero to 100% crazy in the drop of a hat is amazing. The story can be a bit slow and tedious at times, but you never get that from Hardy.  I would recommend this to anyone who likes great acting, or dong,(there is A LOT of dong in this movie).  After seeing Inception, I knew Tom Hardy was a good actor, but this makes me even more excited for The Dark Knight Rises.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10 

Tim’s Thoughts: This is nearly a one man show, put on by Tom Hardy, and with the help of some unique cinematography he conveys just how crazy this “Bronson” is. The real trick that Hardy pulls off, is that you kind of like the vivaciousness of this lunatic, and I can’t help but attribute that to his acting. I will say that this is not for everyone, it is strangely paced, and some of the characters feel straight out of A Clockwork Orange, but if you want to see how great an actor Tom Hardy really is, this is a great place to start. And while not everyone will buy into the strange storytelling style, with the bizarre mix of vaudeville, I can’t help but feel that this only shows what an egomaniac this character really is, he perceives his entire life as a show, and he plays all the characters…… I am sure that the next time I watch this, I will come away with more insight, and see tons more stuff that I missed the first time around. Tim Rates This Movie 9/10

“You don’t want to be trapped inside with me sunshine. Inside, I’m somebody nobody wants to fuck with do you understand?”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here or add it to your Netflix queue

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A Nice Weekend Getaway…

Filed under: Author's Favorite, Horror Hound, Movie Reviews — 1 Comment
June 21, 2012

The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

We know we don’t usually do new theatrical releases, but since we both loved this movie and the trailers didn’t really give you too much information about the flick; we decided maybe we could switch it up a bit.  We do this blog so maybe some of you fine readers out there might find something that you like, and normally otherwise wouldn’t see.  This one fits the bill; the trailer makes it look like just your standard slasher-in-the-woods-teenage-slaughter-fest. It is anything but…

Below are some spoilers, but not all of them… read at your own risk.

A group of five college kids set off on a weekend away from school at one of their cousin’s secluded cabins, which is in the woods, which gives us the movie title. Now that we have that out of the way, we also realize that people are tracking the group’s movement. Who would do that? Well we’ll tell you. It is a group of scientists who have pre-selected this group to make the trip the THEIR cabin (in the woods).  A group is selected to visit this place every year, and other places like it around the world, for the express purpose of being sacrified to a higher power.  Everything they are doing on their trip has been designed and manipulated by these scientists and technicians who are in a bunker under the cabin. Their job is to ensure that, through the kid’s own free will, they meet an untimely demise.  How do they do that you ask? Well… after the kids party for a while and select pheromones are pumped into the cabin, the hatch to the basement pops open. Of course it is up to the kids if they will go down there (here is where the free will comes into play), but they always do. No drunk college kid can resist a spooky cellar.

Down in the cellar are piles and piles of old junk, but not just any old junk.  Each one is a key to unlocking an evil that will bring about their death.  Depending on which object they focus on, the result will summon some sort of monster that the scientist will release into the woods to kill them.  This is the most fun that these guys holed up underground have all night, betting on what creature will be released. (If you watch the movie, be sure to check out the white board with the bets for all of the available monsters, many of them are really funny.)  This year’s group happens upon an old diary from a girl who supposedly used to live in the cabin, whose patriarch enjoyed to torture his own children. The reading of this book unleashes a family of redneck zombies to kill our poor group.  And that they do, taking out most of the crew. It isn’t until we are down to our last survivor that the tempo changes.  She isn’t the last one after all, one of the boys was thought dead, but escaped.  They find an elevator in the woods and it only goes one way – down.

As they descend into the bunker things don’t really get much better, as they pass cells with all of the other monsters that they could have released instead of the zombie family.  In retrospect, that blood-thirsty group of inbred savages might have been one of the better choices they could have made, as there are some horrific things down here.  They exit the elevator to a large complex, but are soon surrounded by guards. Holed up in a security office with no hope of escape, there is only one option left… the ‘PURGE’ button on a control board that will release all of the monsters into the complex!  The next twenty minutes or so is just these awful and strange creatures ripping people to shreds. It.  Is.  Awesome!  There is enough panic around that our survivors can escape and make their way into the middle of the complex, still looking for a way out.  It’s there that we learn the true reason for this place – it is an altar to ancient gods, who will destroy the world if they don’t get all their sacrifices by the end of the night.  The kids are given the choice, one of them can murder the other and all will be well and the world will be saved, or they can live and the world will be destroyed. Which would you choose?

Alex’s Thoughts: If it wasn’t for the Avengers, I would say that this might be the best movie I have seen in the theatres in years.  I have always had a man-crush on Joss Whedon, and have always loved his work, but this (along with the aforementioned Avengers) thing is just perfect.  Sure there are some plot holes and a lot of unanswered questions, but it doesn’t take anything away from the fact that this is one hell of a fun movie.  Although pitched as a horror movie, I wouldn’t define it as such. Yeah it is a mostly a horror flick, but it is also a sci-fi movie and a comedy; there is something to like for everyone.  It is just an entertaining film and I could go on about it forever, but just know that I couldn’t recommend this thing more! Alex Rates This Movie 10/10

Tim’s Thoughts: For me, this is the best horror movie I have seen since Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. It has everything I want in a horror film, it’s funny, smart, it’s clever, it turns the genre on it’s ear. As you watch the movie you realize how far it goes, basically explaining every horror movie ever made, and why it goes down the way it does. The old classics and slashers are merely recreations of sacrifices past. As a huge fan of H.P. Lovecraft, I was entrance the entire movie, not really being sure what would happen next. This is a lot of fun, and while I didn’t find it very scary, I had a blast watching this, (twice in theaters.) Tim Rates This Movie 10/10

“You won’t get out of this complex alive. What I want you to try to understand, is that you mustn’t. Your deaths will avert countless others. You’ve seen horrible things: an army of nightmare creatures, and they are real. But they are nothing compared to what lies beneath us. There is a greater good, and for that you must be sacrificed. Forgive us… and let us end it quickly.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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