Category: Horror Hound


That Mannequin Has Amazing Hair!

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April 22, 2013

Maniac (2012) 

Maniac-2012-poster

Meet Frank (Elijah Wood), he’s a nice young man with scrapped up hands and a van full of mannequin parts. He’s a perfectly normal guy that likes to drive around at night, watching girls leave nightclubs, follow them home, then scalp them lovingly. Or maybe you can meet him on J-Date, where he will take you to a nice dinner, then strangle you while you are giving him a blowjob. What an ungrateful punk! Don’t worry, Frank took a scalp to remember her by.

When Frank gets home he slaps the scalps his mannequins and proceeds to talk to them and see them as real people. All is well and good until Frank meets a beautiful photographer named Anna, she also has a thing for mannequins and is enamored with Frank and his mannequin shop. She rents a bunch of them for her upcoming art exhibit, and invites Frank to the show, but poor Frank doesn’t fit in very well. Anna’s agent belittles him, and Anna’s boyfriend accosts him in the bathroom. So Frank deals with this by following the agent home and scalping the shit out of her. The next day Anna calls Frank distraught over the loss of her friend and he heads over to comfort her. As they are hanging out, Anna starts to put the pieces together and realizes that Frank probably killed her agent, and she locks herself in the bathroom. Frank kills her gay neighbor and eventually subdues Anna as well, but not before she inflicts some serious damage to him. Frank can’t seem to catch a break as Anna gives him a hand, literally, a mannequin hand through the chest as she makes one last break for it. Does Frank catch up to the love of his life? Well that would be telling, wouldn’t it…

Alex’s Thoughts: I always thought the original Maniac was a pretty unremarkable horror movie, released when the slasher genre was ramping up to its peak. I didn’t have high hopes for the re-make, but I do like Elijah Wood, so I figured I would go into it with an open mind. I am happy to say that I really enjoyed it.  The dominate use of first-person perspective was interesting; and from the first kill even before the title card, the audience was hooked. There was a nice mix of everything a horror fan could want in a slasher flick: gore, tension and a bit of crazy (which Wood pulled off nicely).  If you are a fan of a well-made serial killer movie (and who isn’t), give it a look see.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This is a very solid entry into a tired and usually badly done genre. I love horror movies, but honestly 90% of them are garbage. Maniac does something that a lot of horror aspires to do and fails miserably, it’s artistic and it’s creepy. Usually these adjectives are reserved for 70′s Italian horror flicks, so to see a new movie pull it off is great! Maniac has it’s flaws, and it’s far from perfect, but screening this with a distracting, and loud audience, I was still able to enjoy it immensely.  If and when this gets nationwide release, do yourselves a favor and give Maniac a chance. Tim Rates This Movie 9/10

MANIAC STILL

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The Evil Has Been Unleashed Yet Again

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April 15, 2013

Evil Dead (2013)

evil-dead-remake

This re-imagining of The Evil Dead 1 & 2, finds the typical group of twenty-somethings out at a remote rural cabin. They are not there for the stereotypical reasons of getting trashed and fornicating, but instead to help young Mia kick her smack addiction. She quits her habit cold-turkey and it isn’t long before she is freaking out; and as before, further complications arise when one of the friends recites some passages from a book made of skin and wrapped in barbed wire with clear instructions to not open it.  Such foolish behavior results in evil forces attacking Mia while she is out walking in the woods.  Let the possessions begin!!!

Mia starts attacking her friends, and they are sure it is from the detox; but typically people going through withdrawal don’t shoot their friends and try to burn themselves alive.  After puking blood on another friend, she is relegated to the cellar where she taunts the others with promises of consuming their souls. One by one, the group falls under the control of the evil, and try to kill those still human, all as the illustrated book of the dead has foretold.  When the evil gets control of a set number of souls it will take form and destroy the world.  Can Mia’s friends fill the shoes left by Bruce Campbell and send this evil back to hell?

Alex’s Thoughts: I was worried about this re-boot from the minute I heard about it, as The Evil Dead is one of my favorite movie franchises.  I found that my concerns were indeed warranted, as this movie was very disappointing and downright awful.  The book clearly shows what is to be expected with those possessed and exactly how to stop them, but these dinguses choose to ignore it, and assume their friends can still be saved.  With the story quickly veering out of control and the plot clearly contradicting the rules it established earlier in the movie, it just gets worse as it goes on.  The ease with which this ultimate evil being is dispatched is laughable, as is just about everything else meant to be taken seriously.  While it does have some good practical effects, it isn’t enough to stop me from being disappointed to the fullest.  Alex Rates This Movie 3/10.

Tim’s Thoughts: I knew I was in trouble right from the start. The opening scene is pointless, and from then on the movie proceeds to treat us all as idiots. The original Evil Dead movies were funny, creepy, gross, and a lot of fun. We get not of that here, okay, it’s gross, and most of the effects are really good. The problem is that while the movie tries to separate itself from the original films, while paying homage, instead it comes off as redoing the better parts of the first two, without any of the charm or humor.  The new Evil Dead also treats us like idiots, over explaining even the most obvious references to earlier events that will no doubt show up later. And last but not least, A Cabin In The Woods ruins this movie. It points out all the flaws in typical trope filled horror films and hilariously rakes them across the coals, and Evil Dead falls right into that category of unoriginal, and uninspired garbage. I have no problem with this movie being made, after all, Raimi himself gave it his blessing, but I do have a problem with a lump of crap being pitched as the scariest movie I have ever seen.  Save your money, and if you really want to see this, rent it. Don’t give them any more of your hard earned money.Tim Rates This Movie 1/10

87-evil-dead-redband-trailer-2

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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A Vacation Is All I Ever Wanted

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April 10, 2013

Sightseers (2012)

Extra Sightseers

A dating couple decide to get away for a nice little holiday. Chris brings his mother-oppressed girlfriend Tina out for a trip in his caravan on what he says will be a sightseeing trip and a sexual escape.  A few days out, Chris gets irate at a litterbug who repeatedly refuses to pick up his trash. Not on Chris’ watch, as he backs over him with the RV.  Everyone assumes it is an accident, and they go on about their trip. A few days later Chris kills a guy at their RV park just for being dickish.

Soon Tina realizes that her boyfriend is a murderer, but doesn’t seem to mind, as it makes England a better place.  After catching Chris smooching on another girl, Tina tries her hand at murder, but Chris wants to wear the killing pants in this relationship.  Chris goes over the edge when Tina begins killing for fun and taking out joggers and cyclists left and right. Will the killing stop here, or is this a murdering match made in hell?

Alex’s Thoughts:  We recently saw this at a screening at Horrorhound Weekend and were pleasantly surprised by this one, as most movies screened there are either really good, or just God awful. While billed as a horror flick, I think it’s more comedy that horror, though there are some gruesome deaths with plenty of gore (think Shaun of the Dead). Though slow at times, there were a lot of really funny parts, with the actress who played Tina just nailing that great dry British humor.  It isn’t side-splitting comedy, but the jokes are well thought out and are plentiful.  If you have the chance, I would think most people would enjoy this flick even if you aren’t into horror.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10

Tim’s Thoughts:I keep going back and forth on this movie. It’s good, and it’s funny, but there were a few things that bothered me. The Chris character kind of made me nuts, I had a hard time caring about him or his motivations, while his girlfriend Tina is amazing. She is the highlight of the movie by far, and without her it would be nearly a complete loss. The director tries a bit too hard with lingering shots of landscapes, I know this movie is about sightseeing, but for me it constantly brought everything to a standstill. Despite my gripes, I strongly suggest that anyone who enjoys British humor, with a splash of violence. I think it gets a bit ponderous at times, and that will alienate casual viewers, but if you want to see something unique, definitely watch Sightseers. Tim Rates This Movie 7/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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You’ll Wish You Encountered Something Better

Filed under: Horror Hound, Least Favorites, Movie Reviews — 1 Comment
March 30, 2013

Grave Encounters 2 (2012)

grave encounters 2 poster

A film student posts his online review of the horror movie Grave Encounters, denouncing it as an awful piece of trash and something that should be avoided.  A few days later he gets an anonymous email from someone living near the asylum telling him that the movie was real and those people who died on-screen in that flick really are dead; killed my the ghosts inside the old hospital.  The kid calls bullshit, but decides to do a little research; and sure enough, those people are missing. After traveling to LA and meeting with the producer, he tells the kid to leave it alone and not get involved as he thinks it’s real too.

The student gets another email from this stranger telling the kid to meet him at the hospital and the truth will be revealed.  Sounds sort of ominous, huh? The guys brings a group of his film school friends and they recreate the first movie while they wait for the mystery guest to appear.  When they get to the agreed upon meeting spot, there is only a Ouija board. It goes off on its own and tells them to ‘film everything’. Just like in the first one, the ghosts materialize and chase them all around, killing a few in the process.  Unlike the first one, the survivors find the front door and escape back to their hotel room, but this haunted place isn’t going to let them go so easily. They find themselves trapped again in this cursed place that would give M.C. Escher fits, but find help from an unlikely source.

Alex’s Thoughts: The first movie was pretty good, and they should have left well enough alone, as this thing is a complete turd in so many ways. The first half of the movie is full of pointless college jabbering and parties shot on shaky hand-held cameras that do nothing for the story, except for you wanting these kids to die a horrible death. Once they finally get in the asylum it is more of the same stuff from the first one, but with effects that are laughable at times. The twist (where their hotel turns into the hospital) didn’t make any sense at all.  I was extremely disappointed the entire time I was watching this, but most of all that fact that (SPOILER ALERT) the asylum was the one sending the emails; what the shit was that? If you liked the first one, leave it at that and keep your fond memories of this franchise there. Alex Rates This Movie 1/10

Tim’s Thoughts: There are a few bright spots in this otherwise uninspired movie which borrows endlessly from better films, including it’s predecessor. I enjoyed the shiftiness of the asylum, and some of the things they did with that, but when they run into a character with the worst wig I have ever seen in a movie, I am out. Especially when combined with a lame climax, that is completely ripped off from Chronicle, and don’t get me started on some of the laughable effects. The attempts to be self aware are lame, not to mention the lead’s desire to revolutionize horror films, while his magnum opus is also just a series of bad horror tropes. Lame. Tim Rates This Movie 1/10

grave-encounters 2 girl

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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Again With That Book?

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March 20, 2013

The Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn (1987)

Evil Dead 2 poster

Ash and his girlfriend Linda find a remote cabin in which to spend the weekend/ get their freak on.  It looks to have been recently deserted and upon further inspection Ash finds a tape recorder and a freaky looking book.  After playing the tape, we learn that this Book of the Dead has the power to unleash demons if the passages are read aloud, cue tape player and… boom, Linda is snatched from the cabin by an unseen force but returns as a possessed monster trying to eat Ash’s face off.  He cuts her head clean off, but we are only like 10 minutes into this movie, so things are gonna get worse right? Right. Here is what happens to the poor chap:

  • Linda’s reanimated corpse attacks, and her severed head takes a bite out of his hand.
  • Ash’s hand (now possessed) attempts to kill him any way it can. Not wanting to be murdered by a part of his own body, Ash takes a chainsaw and lops that bitch off!
  • The severed hand runs amuck through the house still trying to kill him and flipping him off whenever it gets the chance.
  • The evil forces do their best to drive Ash crazy by animating everything inside the cabin and Ash slowly loses his shit.
  • The cabin’s owner’s daughter shows up with a friend and their guides: Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel and his hilljack girlfriend, who is shot by Ash trying to enter the cabin.
  • Cletus knocks him out and throws him in the cellar as the new arrivals listen to the rest of the tape explaining how the owner’s wife was possessed and buried in said cellar.
  • Ash barely escapes from the beast down there, and soon most of the rest of the group become possessed.
  • He and the owner’s daughter fight for their lives as Ash equips himself with a new chainsaw hand and a shotgun (groovy), as the daughter tries to open a portal to suck up the monsters.
  • Portal is now open, but the severed hand kills her as Ash gets sucked into a dimensional rift.
  • He is shat out in 14th century England which is full of monsters and he is believed to be the savior of the people there… to be continued in the sequel: Army of Darkness.

Alex’s Thoughts: Take the original Evil Dead and mix in a few choice episodes of The Three Stooges, and this movie is what you get.  It is just the right amount of horror and comedy, and might be one of the best movies out there, in my opinion. Sure the horror special effects are a little cheesy, but I think that is sort of the point.  Where The Evil Dead was a low-budget horror, Evil Dead II takes everything good about that movie, adds a deeper story, better cast and makes the lead not such a wimp this time around. I love this thing and will never get tired of watching it. Alex Rates This Movie 10/10

Tim’s Thoughts: This doesn’t have the scares, or the shock of Evil Dead 1, but it sure as hell is a lot of fun. This is one of the few movies that pulls off the perfect mix of horror and comedy. Nobody does it like the King, and Campbell will always be the King. Anyone who watches this needs to realize a few things, first of all, don’t take it seriously, and second, this is some choice movie making. Rami is innovative, and I can’t wait to see more horror/comedy from him, so when he get’s back from Oz I hope he dives back into his bread and butter. Hail to the King baby. Tim Rates This Movie 10/10

ash evil dead 2

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Korean Mutant Fish Monster: The Movie

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March 18, 2013

The Host (2006)

The Host poster

As we open on an Army hospital, a doctor (The Walking Dead’s Hershel of all people) is telling an orderly to pour a bunch of toxic chemicals down the drain, despite the fact that it will pollute the river.  The doctor asks “what’s the worse that could happen”?

Gang-Doo works with his father at a food stand in a park on the banks of the Han River. Gang-Doo isn’t quite right in the head, but wants to do right by his daughter.  One day out of the blue, a huge fish monster pops out of the river and starts eating people and trashing the place.  Gang-Doo is unable to protect his daughter and she is snatched away. The government is sure this beast carries some sort of virus so the town is locked down, and all those who have come in contact with the monster are quarantined; this includes Gang-Doo, his father, sister and brother.  While in the hospital Gang-Doo gets a call from his daughter saying that she is in a sewer somewhere, and the monster is saving her to eat later.  The family escapes from the hospital, and are on the run from the army as they desperately seek out Gang-Doo’s daughter to try and find her and not be devoured by a fish monster.

Alex’s Thoughts: The last few Korean movie I’ve watched have been some of the best I’ve ever seen. Shame on me for thinking they’re all good. Not that this is awful, but it’s only a little better than the SyFy mutant monster movie of the week.  I found that I didn’t really care if any of the characters lived or not, and was actually routing for the monster most of the time.  The CG was fine at times, but was downright awful at others.  The acting also switched between decent and corny at parts.  If you like Godzilla-type flicks you might like this, might hate it. Alex Rates This Movie 4/10

Tim’s Thoughts:

the-host-monster

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Don’t Read That Book!

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March 8, 2013

The Evil Dead (1981)

evil dead poster

Listen, we all know by now that if a group of people go into the woods to stay at a secluded cabin, things aren’t going to end well for them, right? Such is the case with Ashley and his group of friends as they believe they will fair better.  Things are going fine until they find a creepy book made out of skin in the cellar, along with a tape player.  They bring the thing up for a listen and learn that the book can summon demons if the pages are read aloud. The dumb kids keep listening, and sure enough the voice on the tape starts chanting, and now bad stuff is awakening in the woods.

Ashley’s sister goes outside to check on a noise as most dumb girls do in these types of movies, and soon the trees grab hold, and let’s just use the phrase ‘sexually assaults’ her. It would sound silly of we said that she was RAPED BY A TREE! But that is what happens before she goes running back to the cabin.  She has become possessed by the demons unleashed by the book and now, one by one, they each fall, with only Ashley remaining.  As morning comes the worst seems to be over, but sadly that isn’t the case.

Alex’s Thoughts: It is going to sound like I am bashing this, but I do like this movie a lot, but… Evil Dead 2 is SO much better.  Sam Raimi was clearly on to something with his unique shots and brand of story telling, but he wasn’t quite there yet with this one as far as being a great director.  It’s fine,though it could have been better, but luckily for us it does with the sequel which is almost the exact same story as this, except with a bigger budget and some more experience under the director’s belt.  If I had never seen part 2, I would tell people that this is a great horror flick, but it just doesn’t compare to the sequel.  Alex Rates This Movie 8/10.

Tim’s Thoughts:There are films that come along and raise the bar, and The Evil Dead is definitely one of those. Made with a shoestring budget, it pushed all boundaries and decimated what was considered normal for horror. While Craven was trying to scare you, and movies like I Spit On Your Grave were made to shock,  The Evil Dead does both, gleefully. Evil Dead 2 doesn’t compare for me, the silliness makes it a completely different kind of movie. Don’t get me wrong I really like it, but there are parts of this movie that still freak me out. It’s a combination of crazy camera angles, and the intensity of the  actors playing  possessed demons to the hilt. One of the best, most important horror films made in my lifetime. This is and always will be a must see, and a recommend. Tim Rates This Movie 10/10

evil dead witch

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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That’s Prime Real Estate

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February 28, 2013

House on the Edge of the Park (1980)

house on edge poster

This movie starts like most great American films: with a good old fashioned raping. A young Vinnie Barbarino look-a-like named Alex (no relation) is taking advantage of some young girl in the park.  A few weeks later, Alex and his knucklehead friend Ricky are set to depart the garage they work at for a night of ‘boogieing’, when a nice car with a couple of yuppies pull up and ask for some help.  The money they offer is too good, so the dancing will have to wait.  The pair invites the guys back to their fancy house for a party there, so the punks go with them.  Once there it is quite obvious that they were only invited so the other guests could make fun of them, but it turns out that was a bad idea.

Alex goes bananas and beats the crap out of one of the guys and ties him to a table, the others are held at bay with a straight razor and a broken bottle. Apparently to Alex, a party isn’t a party without some unconsensual love-making.  He takes one of the girls upstairs to force himself on her, but it turns out she is into it. Ricky tries to rape one of the other girls as well, but he can’t bring himself to do it.  Everyone gets slapped around some more and humiliated until a young lady comes to the door, and is quickly pulled inside and disrobed by Alex, who goes to work on her with the razor in graphic fashion. Ricky tries to stop him but receives a viscous slice across the gut. Just as Alex turns on the girl again a shot rings out; the party host has a secret he wants to share with Alex. He has been planning this party as his revenge on Alex for weeks, ever since his sister was attacked in the park. (Dum dum duummmmm!)

Alex’s Thoughts: This movie is disturbing from start to finish.  Sometimes this is due to the graphic violence on-screen, and sometimes it is because of the bad acting and often quirky dialog.  The gratuitous nudity seems to be the focal point at times, and it seems like the filmmakers would rather have some reason for a boob being exposed then to advance the story at points.  I wouldn’t say this was a good movie, but if its purpose was do make you feel uncomfortable throughout the whole thing, it succeeded in that.  It was pretty obvious that there was going to be a twist at the end, but it was less than rewarding; this guy deserved a more gruesome death.  I’m not sure who the target audience is for this movie, but it certainly isn’t anyone with any sort of morals or a weak stomach. Alex Rates This Movie 2/10

Tim’s Thoughts:Rape, rape, torture, nudity, rape, and torture. A wannabe Last House On the Left (with the same villain, in the same role). The twist ending comes way too late to make any sense, and the payoff is silly. Nothing interesting here, don’t waste your time. Tim Rates This Movie 1/10

house on edge alex

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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Get Out, Devil. Jackass.

Filed under: Horror Hound, Movie Reviews — 2 Comments
February 21, 2013

The Devil Inside (2012)

the devil inside poster

Isabella Rossi is making a documentary about exorcisms and hopes that by doing so she can find out what happened to he mother; who 20 years ago, killed three people during her exorcism.  She is granted access to a class at the Vatican that teaches the process, and in there, meets two priests: David, who is a board-certified doctor, and Ben who has preformed many exorcisms.  The pair work together, without the consent or the knowledge of the church; to help those possessed people whom the church didn’t not show a strong enough case for an exorcism.

They agree to take a look at her mom, who is clearly possessed, but has just been pumped full of drugs and hidden away for two decades in an asylum. They try to perform a hasty exorcism and discover multiple demons inside her, who somehow have jumped into those present during the ritual.  Can Ben overcome his personal demons to battle these very real ones?

Alex’s Thoughts: I have sort of had my fill with exorcism movies as of late, so I wasn’t sure I would like this one, or even be able to finish it.  Luckily it wasn’t as bad as the reviews made it seem and there were some pretty good effects and a decent plot to follow.  It is a found footage movie, which is wearing pretty thin on me, as every horror movie we’ve seen lately seems to be more of the same; so that is a little disappointing.  It’s probably in the top half of the possession/exorcism I’ve seen, and if you are into that genre, give it a watch.  Alex Rates This Movie 6/10

Tim’s Thoughts:I think this may be one of the better found footage movies that have come out recently. It is pretty well acted, and while there’s nothing too original, it doesn’t try to over explain, and it moves at a nice pace. I am going to rate this a bit higher, because there is a scene in this movie that will stick with me for a long time, and with all the movies we’ve watched, I really think feel that something that upsetting warrants special credit. It’s no Exorcist, but let’s be honest, nothing ever will be, but out of all of it’s grandchildren this is one of the better ones. Tim Rates This Movie 7/10

the devil inside

View the IMDB entry for this movie here.

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Welcome To The Party, Pal

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January 28, 2013

The Loved Ones (2009)

Lola Stone has a crush on emo-rocker-with-serious-mental-issues Brent, and gets up the nerve to ask him to prom.  Brent respectfully declines, as he already has a girlfriend. Speaking of which, we get to see the two of them humping in a car soon after, but someone is peeping on them. Guess who?  Later that day Brent takes a walk after fighting with his mom about Brent’s father’s accidental death; as he is sitting on a hill, someone approaches from behind, chloroforms the shit out of him and drags him off.

He awakens bound to a chair, with Lola and her father looking intently on him.  After Lola injects Drain-O into his neck to keep him from talking, their own personal prom begins.  True love is hard to find for Lola, and a macabre scrapbook she shows to Brent proves it.  You see, he isn’t her first date, and if he doesn’t start to appreciate her, he is in for some trouble. Sadly it turns out that he isn’t ‘the one’, and it’s time to go bye-bye.  For this sick family that means drilling a hole in your forehead and filling your skull with boiling water to turn you into a brain-dead freak.  He is bound for the pit under their living room to live with her other failed relationships unless he can escape.

Alex’s Thoughts: While this concept has been done before, I’ve never liked it more.  This is sort of a weird mix between Saw, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Decent & American Pie… if you could somehow picture that.  I know in a movie like this you are supposed to cheer for the kid in trouble, but I found that I liked Lola’s character more, hopefully that doesn’t say something about me.  She was just the right amount of crazy, and her dad was crazy in his own right due to the fact that he was just so quiet and was willing to do anything to make his daughter happy. It’s a light-hearted horror movie with a few laughs here and there, but it doesn’t skimp on the story or the gore.  Alex Rates This Movie 9/10 

Tim’s Thoughts:I was pleased to have a horror movie keep me interested for the entire time, and as an added bonus, no character in this is so annoying that it ruins the rest of the film. If anything it leaves many questions unanswered, but sometimes that’s better. Often the explanations we get are not the ones we want, and rarely satisfy. To make this movie even more intense, as I was watching it, my dvd player for some reason had the scenes on shuffle (I didn’t even know it could do that) and I was really confused about what was happening. It nearly gave me a completely different movie, because in the middle it jumped back to the beginning, and I thought it was a time warp thing showing alternate possibilities. While I would like a few more answers, or really just one, this is a really strong horror movie with tons of gore and suspense, yes it’s nothing new, or too shocking, it seems to have just the right combination of the latter to make this a lot of fun. Tim Rates This Movie 8/10

View the IMDB entry for this movie here, or add it to your netflix queue.

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