The Midnight Meat Train

Release Date: 8/1/2008

Starring: Bradley Cooper (The Hangover), Vinnie Jones (Snatch)

Plot Summary:  A struggling photographer (Cooper) has just been told by an art gallery owner that he needs to improve his work if he ever want to make it in the biz.  That night he goes out into the city to try to take pictures that aren’t complete garbage.   While in a subway station he sees some punks messing with a young girl.  Somehow these goons are scared off by Bradley Cooper’s good looks (what a hunk), but the girl still winds up missing.  After looking through his photos from that night, which were probably still awful, he spots a huge mean looking bastard.  Cooper returns to the subway station to try to find this guy, he does, and he starts to follow him.  We’ll end the summary there as we don’t want to give too much away, but needless to say that guy totally killed that chick, and several hundred others to boot.

Alex’s Thoughts:  There are a few gory scenes, some action here and there, lots of down time but a nice twist at the end.  I saw it once, and that was probably enough for me.  I wouldn’t recommend it, but I wouldn’t dissuade anyone from seeing it either.  You could probably read the Clive Barker short story in the same amount of time, and that is far superior to the film anyway.

Tim’s Thoughts: I thought that the director tried to be to “cute” with this one. The poor attempts at slick photography really take away from what could be just a gross and kinda creepy movie. Bradley Cooper plays haunted really well, and I was surprised they kept it as close to the book as they did. For those who like full disclosure and “origins” in their horror movies, you will be disappointed, but to me that was one of the saving graces. Vinnie Jones is good, and as Alex says I think they could have done more with him, but for pure schlock he gets the job done. I might recommend this to certain people, mostly fans of Barker, but for the most part I would just never mention it. Not good, not bad, just there on the video store shelf waiting for someone who is taking a shot in the dark, or half buzzed looking for a slasher flick for a horror movie party. Oh and Brooke Shields sucked in this movie, it’s like she knew she only had so much screen time, so she had to cram all of her “acting” into the brutal 3 minutes of the film she’s in.

Final Thoughts:  Vinnie Jones is a good actor, and he was limited to grunts and groans here, and really any muscular body could have fit that role, it was a shame they didn’t use him more.  All in all it’s not too awful, but not really that good either.  It’s a good story, just not pulled off very well.

 Alex Rates This Movie 4/10

Tim Rates This Movie 4/10

“I’ve got a train to catch.”

View the IMDB entry for this movie here